


expensive mistakes

by leedokyum



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Public Blow Jobs, Smut, jeonghan and seokmin are both idiots who love each other, kind of, very light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 14:16:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leedokyum/pseuds/leedokyum
Summary: jeonghan just wants affection and seokmin just wants to scream and cry.





	expensive mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if there are spell/gram mistakes im literally way too lazy to proof read

“Seokmin!” Jeonghan’s voice rang out through his room shrill and loud, making Seokmin jump nearly an inch up from his seat. 

 

“What are you doing?” Jeonghan said as Seokmin craned his neck around from his desk to see the older boy padding across the room. 

 

“Just watching a movie,” Seokmin muttered, clicking away from his current tab. Jeonghan made no signal that he had seen. 

 

Jeonghan tapped on the side of Seokmin’s thigh once he reached his seat. “Up,” He said, popping the ‘p’. Seokmin stood up from the seat and Jeonghan slid beneath him and sat down, wrapping his hands around Seokmin’s hips and pulling him down into his lap. 

 

Seokmin let out the smallest of gasps, inaudible to the other boy, as he landed on Jeonghan’s thighs. It was uncomfortable and Seokmin had to crane his neck awkwardly to see the computer screen, but the feeling of Jeonghan’s thighs pressed against his like this was something that make Seokmin’s skin tingle slightly, especially when Jeonghan snaked his arms around his waist and rested his hands of his stomach. 

 

“What are you watching?” The older boy asked. His big, pretty eyes were looking up at Seokmin like a curious little child and Seokmin found himself not being able to make eye contact. 

 

“Uh… just a movie…It was—“

 

“Move back so I can see,” Jeonghan made Seokmin move back in the chair, making his position even more uncomfortable, then grabbed onto the ledge of the desk so he could roll this chair with the two of them on closer to the screen. “Minnie, there’s nothing on the screen.”

 

“I know, I… turned it off.” 

 

Jeonghan sighed and leant back in the chair. Seokmin looked at him, struggling to find something to do with his hands. Jeonghan noticed this and took one of them in his own, intertwining their fingers so naturally like their hands were made of magnets. Seokmin felt the heat rise in his face almost immediately. 

 

But they did this all the time? Why did it suddenly feel so strange to Seokmin? This was _Jeonghan_. His best friend. He held hands with most of the members, but _Jeonghan;_ He held hands with him, backhugged him, cuddled in bed with him… they did all those kinds of things day in and day out and it was normal. Hell, they’d even fallen asleep with their fingers knotted together once. 

 

“I came here cause I was bored,” Jeonghan was pouting and using his classic whiny, toddler voice that he brought out whenever something wasn’t going his way. Seokmin — like most others, to be fair — found it incredibly endearing and wonderful instead of annoying like he probably should. “And you haven’t talked to me all day or last night either.” 

 

Seokmin hadn’t even realised that he’d been avoiding Jeonghan since the group’s movie night late last afternoon. He hadn’t meant to. And it definitely had nothing to do with the fact that Jeonghan had accidentally rested his hand right on top of Seokmin’s crotch during the movie and left it there for a good thirty minutes. 

 

“Shua says you’ve been in your room all day.” Jeonghan pushed his bottom lip out again once he’d finished speaking. Seokmin had, technically, been in his room all day. Since they’d moved and he now had his own room — the members had nominated him to have the luxury of a room to himself due to his bad habit of warming up his voice in the middle of the night while he was unconscious — Seokmin began falling into the routine of sleeping in until a member noticed he hadn’t stepped into the kitchen and brought him a bowl of food. He spent most of their scarce days off sat in his bed, scrolling through his phone, or sat in his desk chair, scrolling through his computer. Before that, Seokmin would spend every waking moment with Jeonghan. Every morning without fail the older boy would push his way obnoxiously into the room Seokmin shared with Seungkwan and Joshua and drag him out of bed to the arcade or the cinema or the cafe or just for a walk down the river. For some reason unbeknownst to Seokmin, everytime he saw Jeonghan over the past few days there was a strange ticking sensation in his tummy telling him to leave him alone. 

 

“You could have just come in earlier then.” Seokmin retorted, pushing his lips up into the close-mouthed smile. 

 

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes up at him. “Wanted you to come to me.” He sighed overdramatically. “But you didn’t so… then it became a game of waiting to see how long it took before I physically couldn’t stand being away from you anymore.”

 

Seokmin felt as if something inside him had twisted around and seized suddenly. He had no idea why what he said made him feel warm, he had no clue why — because Jeonghan says stuff like this all the time, right? 

 

“Well, you’re here now so…” Seokmin pushed himself up from the chair and stood. Jeonghan rolled the chair forward with his feet so that Seokmin was standing in between his legs. Seokmin automatically went to shuffle back but the desk stopped him, digging into his ass and forcing his knees to buckle the slightest bit. “What do you wanna do?”

 

“I don’t know, all this waiting has actually made me tired. We could cuddle and take a nap.”

 

“It’s almost ten, taking a nap now may as well be calling it a day. We could watch a movie.”

 

“We watched a movie last night.” Jeonghan whined. 

 

“So?” Seokmin crossed his arms across his chest. “We can order food, I’ll ask Jihoonie if he wants to get some—“

 

“You were watching a movie just now! And I don’t want Jihoon. I just want it to be us.”

 

Seokmin swallowed thickly. “Well… I wasn’t actually watching a movie.”

 

“I know you weren’t.”

 

There’s silence for a few seconds as Seokmin struggles to think of an excuse under Jeonghan’s almost menacing gaze. 

 

“Minnie… were you watching porn?”

 

Seokmin choked. “No. No I wasn’t—“

 

“It’s fine, I don’t care. Everyone watches porn. Vernon plays it out loud, for fuck’s sake—“

 

“I wasn’t watching porn, Hannie.”

 

Jeonghan smiles. “Move aside then.”

 

Seokmin shakes his head which prompts Jeonghan to immediately lunge forward and attack Seokmin’s sides with his fingers. Seokmin grabs onto Jeonghan’s shoulders on reflex and pushes him and the chair backwards until it hits the bed. 

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“No, it doesn’t. I tried to tell you that.”

 

Seokmin sighs and collapses on the bed with a groan. He hears Jeonghan chuckle next to him, his adorable, high-pitched, strange little giggle, and Seokmin’s heart begins to race. 

 

“You’re so cute, Minnie.” 

 

Seokmin buries his face in the duvet so Jeonghan doesn’t see how red he is.

 

..

 

They do order food with Jihoon. And Mingyu and Minghao too. They all end up squashing up on Seokmin’s bed to watch a movie on the computer, but Jeonghan makes sure that he’s pressed right against Seokmin, his leg draped over his and an arm around his shoulders. Seokmin can’t get his heart to stop beating a mile a minute all the way through the film, even after the other boys had left and Seokmin had snuggled down under his duvet. 

 

He felt hot all over. He tried kicking the quilt off the bed but it didn’t work. His skin felt foreign and uncomfortable and all he could think about was _Jeonghan, Jeonghan, Jeonghan_. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jeonghan’s face and how Jeonghan’s thighs felt when he sat in his lap and the way Jeonghan smirked at him and the tab that was probably still open on his computer of the obscene video that Seokmin just wanted to watch out of curiosity and _why did he feel so fucking hot?_ Seokmin felt like he was going to throw up. He _wanted_ to throw up. He wanted to eject this unnatural, awful feeling that kept growing and growing within him like a virus and wouldn’t go away. 

 

He hadn’t even registered that he’d gotten up until he was padding through the living room and trying to wrench open the balcony door as quietly as possible. The night air was cool but not cold enough to be unpleasant — which was surprising for April. It was enough to give Seokmin the slightest relief to his sweaty skin but not his other problem. He stood there, with his head titled back, as if he was praying to the Gods above to rid him of the thoughts of a blonde haired boy that kept forcing his way into his bedroom. The balcony door slid open and he jumped right out of his skin. 

 

“Sorry,” Jeonghan giggled and Seokmin wanted to cry. He turned his body away from Jeonghan and yelled a big _fuck you_ to whichever deity was cursing him right now in his head. “I didn’t meant to scare you.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep and you weren’t in your room.” Jeonghan continues. Seokmin doesn’t move, nor does he say anything, so Jeonghan steps forward and wraps his arms tightly around Seokmin’s stomach, pressing the younger boy’s back to his chest. Seokmin wants to scream. “Wanted a cuddle.” He really, _really_ wants to scream. 

 

There’s silence for a few minutes as they stand there, Jeonghan wrapped around Seokmin from behind, his cheek pressed against the space between the younger’s shoulders. Seokmin stands with his arms awkwardly dangling at his sides and his head still tilted back. Jeonghan’s entire body is pressed up against him, trying to zap up all the body warmth he can. But Jeonghan is only wearing a t-shirt and a thin pair of cotton pyjama bottoms and Seokmin really just wants to cry. 

 

Jeonghan breaks the silence finally and it sounds so loud that Seokmin jumps slightly in his embrace. “Minnie, why are you ignoring me?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Are too.” Jeonghan retorts like a child. It’s playful, just how Jeonghan always is, but Seokmin isn’t stupid and he knows Jeonghan so well and he can literally _hear_ the sincerity underneath. 

 

“I didn’t mean to…” 

 

Jeonghan untangles himself from Seokmin’s body and the latter feels like all of the warmth in him has been zapped away. Jeonghan grabs one of his shoulders and spins him around so that they’re facing each other. The moonlight reflects in Jeonghan’s eyes, making him look so much more heavenly than usual and Seokmin has to digs his nails into the side of his thighs to resist the urge to lean forward and press a kiss to his pretty mouth. It’s that thought that causes an ugly lurch in Seokmin’s stomach and his whole head is suddenly swarming with _fuck fuck fuck I am in love with Jeonghan and this is not fucking good_.

 

“You’re hard.” Jeonghan says it like he’s reading a shopping list and Seokmin chokes on his own spit. 

 

“I—“

 

“Do you want me to help you?”

 

“ _What_?” Seokmin says it way too loudly but before he can hush himself or check for a member suddenly jack-in-a-boxing out of their room to accuse them of waking him up Jeonghan is sinking to his knees on the balcony floor until his face is right in front of Seokmin’s crotch. 

 

“J-Jeonghan.” Seokmin is struggling to even breath. 

 

“It’s OK, right?” Jeonghan tentatively reaches up to the waistband of Seokmin’s sweatpants, his fingers slipping in slowly, waiting for Seokmin to tell him to stop. 

 

“I…” But Seokmin doesn’t stop him, he just stares down at him and he really does think he’ll start crying this time because Jeonghan is looking up at him from his knelt position with this innocent expression whilst pushing his sweatpants and boxers down towards his ankles and Seokmin swears he’s never seen anyone or anything as beautiful as him in his entire life. 

 

Jeonghan gives the tip of Seokmin’s dick three small licks before just fucking taking the entire thing in his mouth until his nose was buried in Seokmin’s pubes.

 

“Fuck,” Seokmin gasps breathlessly. He had no time to catch his breath before Jeonghan is moving his mouth up and down on Seokmin’s length, making the most obscene slurping noise and Seokmin just looks down at him and it’s there again — the overwhelming urge to cry, cause he looks so damn beautiful with his lips wrapped around his cock and Seokmin never realised how long he’d wanted this until now. “ _Fuck_ , Jeonghan.” 

 

Jeonghan’s lips slip from Seokmin’s length, precum and spit dribbling down his chin. Yet somehow, he still looked like an angel carved from marble. “Does it feel good?”

 

Seokmin just nodded his head, couldn’t bring himself to form words. Then Jeonghan’s entire aura changed as he smirked devilishly. “Thought so,” he mumbled, smugly, before wrapping his hand around the base of Seokmin’s length and slipping it into his mouth again. 

 

Jeonghan sucked around Seokmin’s length and pumped what didn’t fit into his mouth with his hands. Seokmin was quite big and he made Jeonghan’s jaw ache slightly from the stretch, but Seokmin could tell that this wasn’t his first time doing this. One stroke and particularly hard suck had Seokmin involuntarily bucking his hips into Jeonghan’s mouth, making the older boy moan around him. Seokmin responded with an even louder moan, suddenly needing something to grip onto with his hands to steady himself. Jeonghan used his free hand to lead Seokmin’s to his hair. Seokmin threaded his long fingers into Jeonghan’s hair and used his new found support to steady himself. 

 

Seokmin relaxed his arm and let Jeonghan bob his head rhythmically, Seokmin moaning and whining in time. Seokmin tightened his fingers in Jeonghan’s hair as he flicked his wrist and sucked harshly around his tip. An intense heat tightened in the pit of Seokmin’s stomach, begging to be released. 

 

“I-I think I’m gonna come.”

 

Jeonghan hummed around him in response, the vibrations shooting up into his stomach. He picked up the pace of his strokes and Seokmin moaned out the most beautiful sound Jeonghan had ever heard. 

 

“J…..Oh, fuck, _Jeonghan_.” 

 

Jeonghan engulfed Seokmin as much as he could as the younger boy released hotly down his throat. Jeonghan kept his head in place until Seokmin was completely milked, swallowing around him once he’d finished, making Seokmin gasp at the sensitivity. 

 

Jeonghan pushed away and shakily stood up from his position, only just now realising how sore his knees were after being pressed into the stone of the balcony. Jeonghan wiped his mouth with his t-shirt as Seokmin just stared at him, mouth hanging slightly open. 

 

“Careful, you might swallow a fly.” Jeonghan says, so nonchalantly and jokingly — like he always does — as if he didn’t have Seokmin’s dick in his mouth thirty seconds ago. Seokmin doesn’t respond. 

 

“Think you’ll get back to sleep now?” 

 

“I…” Seokmin gave up and nodded instead. 

 

“Come on then,”

 

..

 

Seokmin overtly avoids Jeonghan after this. They’re back on schedules, so it is a lot easier, but Jeonghan has noticed and most of the other members notice because who wouldn’t when Jeonghan and Seokmin are usually glued together from shoulder to feet. He pretends not to see the glum looks Jeonghan sends his way or the stern glares that Seungcheol, Jihoon and their managers shoot him. He pretends not to hear Jeonghan grumbling and complaining to Joshua and Wonwoo about how he leaves the bathroom as soon as Jeonghan enters or how he ignores him on the group chat. He pretends not to notice the way Minghao and Mingyu try and bring up Jeonghan in conversation when they’re clearly talking about something completely unrelated. 

 

It isn’t until Joshua corners him just as he steps out of the shower, only a towel around his waist, that Seokmin is forced to face the problem. 

 

Joshua glares right at Seokmin so harshly, and the younger boy hasn’t really seen this look on him before, so it’s terrifying. 

 

“Speak to Jeonghan you fucking coward before I shove you both into a closet, lock it and leave you there for five hours.”

 

“D-did he tell you?” Seokmin stuttered, his back pressed right up against the glass of the shower door in an attempt to cower away from Joshua. 

 

“He hasn’t told me shit but me and every one else is sick of you running away like a chicken everytime Jeonghan enters the room. Whatever happened, sort it out.”

 

“Josh, it’s…” Seokmin sighed, and the sickly feeling in his stomach that he’s kept feeling over the past month — especially when he looks at Jeonghan — is there again, nibbling at him horribly. “I can’t, it’s… I don’t know what to do,”

 

Joshua’s expression softens as he notices Seokmin is close to tears. It’s the worst thing in the world, for everyone, to see Seokmin sad or hurt. It’s like watching a puppy get kicked. Joshua suddenly regrets almost shoving him against a wall and yelling at him. 

 

“Look, Seokminnie, I’m sure whatever it is you guys will work it out. You just have to talk to him, he’s worried sick and he misses you. You guys are probably the closest out of all of us and no one wants to see you fight. It’s not annoying anyone more than it’s distressing everyone. Chan thinks the group will completely fall apart if you two stop talking.”

 

Seokmin bites his lip and he really thinks tears will spill out if Joshua says another word. 

 

“Please talk to him.” 

 

“Alright, I will.”

 

And he does. Once he’s dressed, Seokmin strides into the living room up to Jeonghan who is sat on the couch with most of the other members. He grabs the elder’s hand and drags him up and out of the room, the other boys watching in silence as they leave. Seokmin leads him into his room by the hand and shuts the door behind him. 

 

Once they’re inside and Seokmin looks up at Jeonghan who is watching him with an expression that could only be a mix of heartbreak and expectation, Seokmin is completely at a loss for what to say. They stand there for seconds on end, just staring at each other, before anyone speaks. 

 

“Are you mad at me?” It’s Jeonghan who breaks the silence. 

 

“No.” Seokmin says simply, and he feels tsunami waves of guilt wash over his body again and again at Jeonghan’s words. 

 

“Then why aren’t you talking to me?” Seokmin doesn’t answer. “Is it cause I sucked your dick? Did you not like it? I thought you… it’s just… you were hard and I thought that maybe it was because of me cause I was accidentally rubbing you during the movie and I could tell you were getting riled up and I don’t know, I guess I just hoped it was because of me because I really wanted to suck your dick, I think I always have, because I lo…because… because I don’t know.” Jeonghan lets out a big breath after his word vomit. “You’re my favourite person on Earth, Seokmin. You’re so beautiful and I can’t get you out of my head and now I’ve ruined everything and you hate me.”

 

Seokmin literally feels his heart shatter into a million and one pieces. “I don’t hate you, Jeonghan.”

 

Jeonghan doesn’t answer him, just stares, and Seokmin can see the tears that make his beautiful eyes glisten and suddenly he’s about to cry too. 

 

“Could never hate you.” Seokmin lets out the biggest sigh he thinks he’s ever let out in his life. “You’re my entire world.”

 

Jeonghan lets out something that sounds like a mixture of a sob and a laugh. “You’re such a cheesy dork. I love you.”

 

Seokmin literally leaps forward, his lips pressing themselves against Jeonghan’s. Jeonghan stumbles back and falls onto the bed, Seokmin on top of him with their legs tangled. The younger mouths against Jeonghan’s mouth until he opens, their tongues colliding together and massaging eachother hotly. Jeonghan moans into Seokmin’s mouth as the latter finds his hands, slotting their fingers together. 

 

They kiss for what feels like hours but is probably only a few minutes, until Jeonghan has to literally force Seokmin off of him. Seokmin presses their foreheads together and smiles his signature sun-shaming grin. 

 

“I love you too.” He says and Jeonghan’s smile challenges him.

 

Seokmin rolls off the older boy and snuggles up into his side, his cheek pressed into his shoulder. They’ve both never felt this happy, this elated, in their whole lives. It feels like almost six years have lead up to this exact moment and it feels so fucking _amazing_. 

 

“Just so you know,” Jeonghan says, and Seokmin can hear the smirk on his lips. “I prefer being on top.”

 

“Perfect.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i realised that the tense changes like halfway through but im lazy so deal with it


End file.
